Thursday 26 May 2016 8.36am
Tom Pepper wrote:
There was sustained screaming last night on Long Lane
- definitely a distressed male voice - just wondering if anyone had got to the bottom of this mystery?
A leap in the dark here, but since I retired, the enemy leaves a list of chores for me most days.
Sometimes she gets home and says, "Have you hoovered?"
As we have a Dyson, and a Vax, I say, "No, I can't, we don't have a Hoover."
Somehow, this mysteriously propels her into a rage every time, you'd think that she'd be used to it by now, and she attempts to terminate my life, but I didn't think anyone would hear my screams from Rotherhithe in Long Lane
Your alleged 'enemy', in common with most people in the Western world, doubtless knows that according to the Oxford dictionary, hoover is accepted as a verb or noun.
e.g. He hoovered the stairs, or, do you have a hoover?, (meaning a vacuum cleaner)
It can also be used to describe the eating habits of a greedy person,
e.g. she hoovered up a large apple pie .
Tell your long suffering 'enemy', that if she needs someone to hold you down while she decapitates you, to give me a call.