Wednesday 6 November 2002 2.03pm
Speaking as a marmalade moggy myself, I say to Helen: "That's fighting talk!". We cats provide a very real public service by preventing your neighbourhood from being overrun by scary mice, snakes and other nasty vermin. Hey, we'll even have a go at the grey squirrels for you when the mood strikes. And we provide free lap-warming, relaxation and purring services.
As far as digging up your garden, at least we don't eat your daffodils. We just move them around and, er, fertilize them a bit. So where do you expect us to "go"? On the pavement like those disgusting canines? Ugh!
Anyway, as far as Seb's problem is concerned, I think that Countryside Fan should saddle up his hunter, don his Pinks and form The Bermondsey Squirrel Hunt. What a rousing sight that would be for a Boxing Day morn!
Um, sorry about the dawn chorus, but that was a result of a little too much catnip at Belushi's
last night. It won't happen again. I promise.