Bring back public hangings

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Thursday 29 May 2003 12.03pm
Anyone who has read Sarah "Tipping the Velvet" Waters' excellent Fingersmith novel (set in part in the Borough), will remember the rather harrowing description of the public hanging near the end of the book. Well, frankly, for the little teenage street urchins who have just purchased motorbikes on my estate, and who persist in riding them up and down the bloody road all evening, making one hell of a racket, hanging is too good for them. I am emphatically opposed to the reintroduction of capital punishment of major crimes, like murder, but surely it would make enforcement of the smaller, neighbourhood nuisance issues more viable? I for one would happily string the little blighters up with my own fair hands. On a serious point, does anyone know if these little tinkers are breaking any laws, or is it perfectly acceptable to ride up and down the same street all evening, with a noisy motorbike? And if they are breaking any laws, is there a way of enforcing the law that does not involve calling out our wonderful boys in blue, who frankly must have better things to worry about? All help appreciated.


-MM- The Nature of Monkey was Irrepressible.
Thursday 29 May 2003 12.28pm
I think you're absolutely right. It would certainly be a deterrent for unpleasant antisocial activities - like filling post boxes with unwanted junk mail to spite the poor postman.

Also for people who daub graffiti on the boards outside building sites, and for people who tear down posters from advertising hoardings.

Car thieves; vandals. Litter louts.

Criminals where the deterrence would make a difference. No point in bringing it in for murder or rape or child abduction, as these crimes are so seldom pre-meditated that it wouldn't make a difference, and would be a matter of revenge.

It might also be good for the General and his 'Lady' but I'm not expecting you to agree with me here! Southwark really doesn't need them.

Seriously, yes, if they are breaking a law, you can make a citizen's arrest. You need to tell the person you are arresting them, what you are arresting them for, and then you need to take them in front of a magistrate as soon as practicable (in practice, this means taking them to or summoning the police). Make sure you're right though, otherwise you may end up in trouble for false imprisonment or some such equivalent crime.

I suggest you invest in a large box of nails, and scatter them on the road until all their tyres are popped. Then clear up the remaining nails.
Friday 30 May 2003 12.53am
Some times, the phrase "Don't get me wrong" is not enough to dilute the sheer stupidity of what follows. Unless you're "absolutely right". Wing, that is.
Friday 30 May 2003 10.29am
Lisa: When are you going to start taking responsibility for your actions?
Bart: Cuz I felt like it!
Lisa: You're not even listening!
Bart: I know you are, but what am I?
Friday 30 May 2003 3.45pm
Dear Mapmaker

I see its OK for you to take a citizens revenge when it suits you for somethng you dislike i.e.

I suggest you invest in a large box of nails, and scatter them on the road until all their tyres are popped. Then clear up the remaining nails."

But posting back unsolicited mail is wrong - Oh I see ! - one law for you and one for me!

Have you ever wondered why the "poor postman" has to lug around that trolly? filled with junk mail!
Monday 2 June 2003 10.02am
MM - which estate are you talking about? We've got the same problem in the estates just south of Waterloo Station, around Bayliss Rd, Frazier Street and Pearman Street.....Deeply irritating. We have an Ambulance station at the end of the road - if the Ambulance bikes can leave the area quietly, I'm sure the muppets with their own 2 wheels can do the same.

I like the nails approach, but this will hinder any car users too. Perhaps some cheese wire stretched across two trees might be a more 'clinical' solution........
Monday 2 June 2003 12.12pm
I live on the Creasy estate, just east of Tower Bridge Road. Its a nightmare. There was this really fat kid who used to have a silver scooter, like those really sad ones that businessmen used to go to work on a couple of years ago. But he had this one with a motor fixed to it, and he used to ride it at a hell of a speed up and down the pavement. Little git and really dangerous too.

But now he has obviously had a birthday, and he has upgraded to a motorbike. His mates have obviously been impressed, and have also bought them. Of course, their other mates "borrow" the bikes for a quick whizz around the block, and they never bother wearing a helmet. In fact, its a miracle they can see where they are going, what with their baseball caps pulled down over their faces, and then the hoodies pulled up over the top. Mind you, what chance have they got, when one of their fathers is more than happy to sell drugs from his flat with the stereo music turned up so loud, it makes my china vibrate in the living room. I only hope that when one of them is riding without a helmet on that he falls off and breaks his bloody neck. Actually, I don't really hope any harm comes to them (I know my postings here are sometimes taken literally). I just hope that him and his mates get a really bad dose of the squits that renders them unable to leave the flat for the next couple of years. Not that implausible if you have ever eaten from the Kebab shop on Tower Bridge Road.


-MM- The Nature of Monkey was Irrepressible.
Monday 9 June 2003 3.23pm
Honestly, Teresa! The 'poor postman' would be out of a job if it weren't for the junk mail, as the system would collapse through lack of money.

Alternatively, if his trolley were emptier, then he would be given a bigger round with more letters in his trolley. May I suggest you investigate simple economics, and the law of supply and demand?

A better solution than cheesewire or nails has just spring to mind. Borrow Oddjob's bowler hat, and take aim - nobody will notice your loaded weapon. This has the benefit of being directed towards the particular perpetrators.
Monday 9 June 2003 3.28pm
On a drearily practical note: if you have a noise problem, and you live in Southwark, call their noise complaints number on 7525 5777. If you're not in Southwark, I'm sure your council has a similar service.
Saturday 14 June 2003 7.18am

The trouble with hanging the General and his Lady is that they would probably enjoy it and make a fortune selling tickets to the glamorous spectacle !!!

You should be posting on the Wicked 2 thread - what do you know ????


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