Sunday 21 December 2003 12.29am
Amazon used to have a policy of replacing any order that was "lost in the post", i.e. nicked by thieving posties, free of charge. You might want to give them a ring, explain what's happened, and get it sent to an address not in SE1. I used to find that the SW1 post-code was very reliable, as it is shared by the Prime Minister and all the government departments, so all the posties are checked out first by "our friends in the foreign office" who live in Vauxhall but who don't have a name. Simply befriend the bar manager of any pub in SW1, drink regularly there for a number of years, and then he will collect packages for you. You then pop in a couple of days after they are due and pick them up free of charge. Alternatively, move to SW1 by paying £500,000 upwards for a flat.
-MM- The Nature of Monkey was Irrepressible.