Please don't laugh.

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Tuesday 28 September 2010 8.17am
My missiz hung a pair of her knickers on the washing line yesterday morning. When she went out there in the afternoon some b****r had stolen them. She wasn't too upset at losing the knickers, but she was livid about the twenty-four pegs!
Sunday 3 October 2010 9.54pm
loooooooooool...sorry, I can't help it :-)
Sunday 10 October 2010 3.52pm
At the beginning of last week I dropped a woman at the corner of Bloomsbury St. and New Oxford St. She said that she was meeting a friend who was staying at the Edwardian hotel in Bloomsbury St. and that they were going to a theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue.
She asked if there was a decent restaurant nearby.
I suggested they try the Italian Kitchen across the street and said, "I've not eaten there, but it looks a nice clean place."
"What kind of food is it?" she said.
Thinking that she was kidding I replied "Indian."
"Oh no," she said, "I don't like curry!"
You couldn't make it up!
Sunday 10 October 2010 7.54pm
Tom,
Bearing in mind that you're a cabbie, I can't help but give my age away by recalling a joke that was going around in the early 60's at the time of the 'Profumo' affair.
(James, I appologise if I'm over-stepping the mark and please delete this if neccessary.)
Christine Keeler is on her way home from a nightclub in the early hours and hails a black cab. At the end of her journey the cabbie says, "That'll be ten pounds,ten shillings."
Keeler lifts her skirt and, wearing no knickers, says drunkenly, "Take it out of that."
The cabbie replys, "Ain't ya got anything smaller?"
Sunday 10 October 2010 8.55pm
Talking of cab driver jokes Chalkey, there is the hoary old chestnut of the old boy who, after spending 30 minutes on the rank at Charing Cross some 25-30 years back, had a couple walk out of the station and ask for The St. Martin's Theatre in West Street, where The Mousetrap was showing.
This was not a very desirable job to someone who has spent that much time on the rank, probably a fare in those days of circa 1.00.
On arriving at the destination the couple alighted and the man gave the driver the exact fare.
As they walked to the foyer the driver called them back.
"Yes, my good man?" they enquired.
"The copper did it," he replied!
Monday 18 October 2010 8.09pm
Tom, do you recall the name, 'Nubar Gulbenkian,?' He was a famous billionaire eccentric back in the 1960/70's. He had a fixation with black cabs and at one time owned two Austin FX4 cabs. Asked why the obsession with that particular vehicle he replied: 'Because they can turn on a sixpence....Whatever that is.'
Monday 18 October 2010 8.42pm
chalkey wrote:
Tom, do you recall the name, 'Nubar Gulbenkian,?' He was a famous billionaire eccentric back in the 1960/70's. He had a fixation with black cabs and at one time owned two Austin FX4 cabs. Asked why the obsession with that particular vehicle he replied: 'Because they can turn on a sixpence....Whatever that is.'

Yes I do Chalkey, he was an Armenian petrol/oil magnate who lived in the Ritz and had an FX4 type taxi fitted with Rolls Royce bodywork and used it as his mode of transport in London.
Wednesday 3 November 2010 6.03pm
I've also noticed that taxis have an incredibly tight turning circle - but I'm not an ecentric billionaire so I'm not going to buy one.
Wednesday 3 November 2010 6.19pm
3 blondes were walking through the woods when they came across a set of tracks.
these look like wolf tracks said the 1st
no, said the 2nd, they are bear tracks!
are you sure said the 3rd, they look like deer tracks!

they were still arguing when the train ran them over.
Wednesday 3 November 2010 9.40pm
JonR wrote:
I've also noticed that taxis have an incredibly tight turning circle - but I'm not an ecentric billionaire so I'm not going to buy one.

Jon, billionaire status not is strictly necessary, but eccentricity is a virtual must.
A new top of the range fully air conditioned LTI TX4, (the shape that you are probably most familiar with) costs a few pence under 35,500, and the Mercedes Vito almost exactly the same.
I bought my T Reg. LTI TX1, new, in 1999 for 29,995.
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