Cold calling.

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Thursday 9 June 2011 1.02pm
I was in the upstairs back bedroom this morning, up a six-foot step ladder with a paint brush in my hand.
If anyone out there suffers from loneliness, get yourself in above situation and your doorbell will ring. Guaranteed.
I don't do quick anymore, so I gingerly backed down the ladder and made my way along the landing. I kept hold of the paint brush in case it was someone flogging something and it would then be obvious to them that I wasn't in buying mode. Before I'd reached the staircase the doorbell rang agan. Now I was becoming concerned. I have a few elderly and, for a variety of reasons, vulnerble neighbours and thought one of them may be in difficulties.
When I opened the front door I was confronted by a smiley, well-dressed young man who beamed at me and said, "Good morning, sir. How are you today?"
Ignoring the paint brush and without waiting for my answer, he launched in to his spiel about wanting to make sure I was claimng all the benefits I was entitled to for such things as loft insulation etc. I told him he wasn't the first person to call regarding that and so I assumed he wasn't representing either local or central govenrment. I didn't think it was possible, but his smile got even wider. "No, sir. We're a company, but the beauty of all this is that for you, it's free."
I politely told him that my loft was not only fully insulated, but also boarded and, thanks to my children, contains the equivelent of the entire stock of exhibits at the British Museum.
I've never seen a smile leave someone's face so quickly. "O.K., cheers," he said, and marched off. What happened to the 'sir' I wondered.
The thing is, he was about the sixth person to call regarding that sort of thing in as many weeks. is this happening in SE1, or are these comapnies just targetting certain areas?
Sunday 12 June 2011 8.04pm
I think I've only had one in nearly 12 years here. One call, two people, a man and a woman. The man with the garbled mouth of London teenagers got really shitty when I said I wasn't interested in changing energy suppliers. He actually shouted 'you haven't heard what we're offering yet'. The woman put her hand up to halt him and smiled at me apologetically. So I said I'd just heard on the radio that you should never ever take up an offer to change energy suppliers at the door because you can always get a better offer by ringing round. I'm not exaggerating- he started jumping and literally bounced of the wall. I have to admit I giggled a little, which did not soothe him. Come to think of it, I hadn't heard any such thing on the radio.
Thursday 21 July 2011 11.44am
I had a phone call this morning from a well-spoken chap with an Asian accent, who told me he was from the 'Wellness Centre' and was carrying out health surveys in my area. He seemed to know his stuff on health matters and was very amiable. After about ten minutes of asking questions he began to wax lyrical over the health benefits of the pomegranate and how good it is for our overall health, especially blood pressure. (I had told him I had a mild blood pressure problem.) He went on to say that by drinking pomegranate juice we're not getting the full benefits of the fruit, which is contained in the unpalatable skin. This is when my old alarm bells started ringing and I told him he was beginning to sound like a salesman. He asked me if that was a problem and I told him it was only a problem for him if he was trying to sell me pomegranate suplements as I never buy anything from cold callers over the phone......
End of conversation.
If anyone out there gets a similar call and don't want to buy the magic pill, then end the conflab before he gets in to his rhythm, coz he's very convincing.
Thursday 21 July 2011 11.48am
...or - you can waste his time by telling him how really interested you are and please explain more. Then place the receiver next to the phone and do something else. When the disembodied squeaky voice stop - ask him to explain about something else. Repeat until HE hangs up.
Sunday 31 July 2011 9.36pm
Mostly only get the god squad trying to invite me to a bible reading on a Saturday morning when I'm trying to catch up on the sleep deficit from the working week. It got so bad and so frequent a while back that I started sticking "NO: God Squad, Bible Bashers or Jesus Freaks Please!" notes on the front door on Friday nights to try and get them to go away. A delivery guy thought it was hilarious. He gets them too apparently when he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Monday 1 August 2011 7.29am
It's the automated recorded calls that irritate me as you can't terminate the call or even tell them to sod off. If you hang up an automated call and pick up the receiver 30 secs later thay can still be talking and blocking your line.
Monday 1 August 2011 11.31pm
No landline, it went with the cutbacks. -Now I'm starting to come to terms with it, thank you!
Friday 12 August 2011 12.22pm
phoney wrote:
It's the automated recorded calls that irritate me as you can't terminate the call or even tell them to sod off. If you hang up an automated call and pick up the receiver 30 secs later thay can still be talking and blocking your line.

No, really? I didn't know that. Now I'm really irritated.

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