Friday 27 April 2012 4.00pm
Some morphine would also be very nice, and a way to wash the left hand side of my body, plus someone with really long but thin fingers, to assist with scratching. Hmmm, Tom Pepper could also drive me to work, I'm probably on his route.
Sold the cab Zoe, so no can do with the lift to work, plus now that I'm a civilian I'm not allowed in bus lanes, and I couldn't handle all that queuing in traffic with the other lemmings.
In addition I'd have to pay the C.C., something I've never had to do in the past, and I'm not about to start now.
In closing, were I a lot younger, and not the epitome of a Southern chivalrous gentleman that I am, I would offer to assist with the washing and scratching, but I'm in enough trouble without that!