I was happy to let this lie, but you've resurrected it and drawn my name into it....(and because of that, I'm taking the liberty of posting responses to all the people who so kindly showed their broad-mindedness by jumping to conclusions and callling names on the other thread. It's unfair, I know, but I know you won't mind)...
1) I'm a bit p*ssed off at being called homophobic, from someone who doesn't know me (or my sexuality), but I can put that to one side. Sticks and stones.
2) I don't care who's gay or who's straight. Let me make it clear: THAT'S NOT THE POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE. I've got no opinion on peoples sexuality, because IMO being straight or gay (or black or white) is something you are born, not anything you can change or be held responsible for (even if changing it was desirable, or if there was anything to be responsible for)
3) the first point I was trying to make (in my usual, reproachable, sideways fashion) was that I was a bit bored by the general hijacking of threads for teen-style "flirting". I think it spoils the forum. Fine. That's just me. I've got a right to say it, and you've got a right to ignore it or disagree or whatever your position is. This board is James' if it's anyone's, so it's up to him what goes on it (and a good job he does, IMO)
4) the second (and, to me, more worthy of discussion) point which genuinely baffles me is the attitude to being gay that appears on this site quite often. (Remember, you don't know if I'm straight or gay, and this attitude would confuse me just as much if applied to either straightness or gayness, so please turn off the automatic response of crying homophobia that either you or others seemed to quickly fall victim to on the other thread.)
It confuses me that so many people make an effort to define themselves by their sexuality. To me, this either implies that they are trying to use the site to meet sexual contacts (in which case, surely there are better places to do that, and it could be offensive as well as boring to a lot of users), or it implies an attitude to sexuality which makes ones sexuality akin to a hobby or profession.
I'd not be surprised to see people who like, say, sailing, or drinking cider, or going to the ballet, posting to see if there was anyone else similar out there so they could indulge in their hobby together. Likewise, I could imagine someone who did a certain kind of job posting and looking for other similarly employed people.
I am genuinely confused when people use this attitude to sexuality (or race, even, for that matter). To me, my sexuality is (firstly, a private matter, but secondly) not a thing I would consider using to define myself by.
If the boot was on the other foot and the forum was full of people posting threads with titles like "Any straight people want to meet up", or "White South Bank", then I can't imagine this would not be interpreted by a lot of gay and non-white people as oppressive, discriminatory, etc. Even if the posters were able to convince you that they had non-discriminatory reasons for putting such threads up, then I wouldn't be surprised if you came away wondering why those people wanted to group themselves according to colour or sexuality. This is what I am talking about.
I just think it's odd. Simple as that. Now I won't insist on an apology. I'll leave it up to your conscience. And I must stress again that I really don't care about your (or anyone else's) sexuality. I just don't want to know about it and don't understand why it is such a defining thing to some people. I am genuinely interested to find out, so if we can discuss this without name calling then I'd welcome a chance to be made to understand your point of view. And that's the kind of debate that I think these threads are really good for.
Good morning, and my best regards.
...there's plenty more c**** in the cup.