This week's dilemma

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Tuesday 17 February 2004 10.53am
Hello all,
Inspired by Kevin O'Neill's problem last week, I've decided to share a dilemma that I faced several years ago with you. I was approached by a married friend one night, who asked if her husband had made much of a nuisance of himself a couple of nights previously. I didn't know what she was talking about as I hadn't seen her husband for some time, however I stalled until she explained that her husband hadn't come home on Saturday night and had explained his absence by saying that he'd been with me and had got so drunk, I insisted that he stay at my place.........
What would you have done?
Tuesday 17 February 2004 11.08am


You describe the wife as your 'married friend' - I think that in the same circumstances I would have told my friend the truth - that her husband had lied to her.

If the husband was a good friend as well (which may have been the case) then I would have found it more difficult - but I would still err on the truth's side.

If, however, the husband had actually contacted you - pleaded with you to support his story (presumably in anguished tones) and you had agreed - then this happened.....
Tuesday 17 February 2004 11.09am
I think I'd protect him, but then confront him and tell him that I don't appreciate having to cover for him, especially when I know nothing about it. Then I'd deliver an ultimatum to get him to 'fess up.

Yes, he's a mate, and he's lying to his Mrs., but he's also effectively lying to me by not telling me the truth and getting me in bother.

Although it sounds like tough love, I do think if someone expects me to do them a beyond-reasonable favour such as cover for them, I expect a bit of respect back.
Tuesday 17 February 2004 11.12am
Yes, the husband was also a good friend.
Tuesday 17 February 2004 11.20am
if he is/was a good friend of yours, then the least he could have done is tell you about it!

still, he might do it again if you keep 'defending' him...

ps: he wasn't with me that night... lol!
Tuesday 17 February 2004 12.59pm

Excellent dilemma. I think you've got to tell your friend to come clean to you and Mrs Friend, unless he has a VERY good excuse. Otherwise it leaves you with no Mrs Friend (who will dislike you for lying to her) and no Friend (unless you condone his behaviour).

There's a slim chance that Friend might have an embarrasing-but-harmless excuse for using you as cover. Give him a chance to tell you this. You've got to at least ask him before damning him, but (assuming you don't make a habit of offering alibis to all and sundry) Friend has taken a big liberty in drawing you into this.

What did you really do? (or will you make us wait until the end of the week to find out?)

...there's plenty more c**** in the cup.
Tuesday 17 February 2004 2.58pm

lie to the wife, blackmail the friend, buy a house in Tuscany on the proceeds.

Tuesday 17 February 2004 3.06pm
ha ha... was thinking along the same lines

Tuesday 17 February 2004 7.13pm
Sleep with Mrs friend
Wednesday 18 February 2004 9.02am
no...she's awful

...there's plenty more c**** in the cup.
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