SE1 ers defined by their coolness

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Tuesday 16 March 2004 2.04am
It's official. Ken has spoken. "SE1 is now a cool -only postcode" he said.

This is to reflect the fact that SE1 is now a world leader in the Arts, iconic blocks of flats, frou-frou shopping and gourmet munchies. The John Harvard Library is being transformed into a drop-in centre for Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Transgendered Performance Artists.

The Charles Dickens School will become the Zandra Rhodes Centre, a "safe place" for SE1's elite to congratulate themselves.

Elephant and Castle is a "World Cuisine Regeneration Zone".

For "leave to remain" as a COOL resident, send 125, ( a 90% discount) to

Ministry of Gayness/ Coolness
SE1 Enforcement team
City Hall
Queens Mince

You must include 3 of the following to prove entitlement

***SE1 restaurant/ gastropub bill (Recent)
***photocopy of your gym membership.
***Digital picture of your home.
***Proof of a job status in media/fashion / food/ property.

Recent arrivals will have to attend City Hall to be vetted in person. They will be expected to demonstrate competence to take part in the cultural life of SE1.

Sample Questions

***What is the difference between a Portobello and Oyster Mushroom? Borlotti Beans and Baked Beans? Brie and Brie de Meaux?

***Konditor and Cook is a
(a) legal firm
(b) Detective programme
(c) pre-eminant cake shop

***A 3 acre space is available in SE1. Which is the better option?

(a) 1873 one & two bedroom luxury flats in a landmark 58 storey tower with communal Fortnum, Oxygen Bar, Organic Sushi Bar, Concierge Floor, moped park and Therapy suite
(b) Green space

***the "Cockfighter of Bermondsey" is a

(a) bare knuckle fighting club
(b) witty design-led shop nestling on trendy Bermondsey St.
(c) a regular at Simon the Tanner


Those who pass the tests and are allowed to migrate to SE1 will enjoy a little ceremony to mark the occasion.


Tuesday 16 March 2004 9.06am
Kevin Darling, you should get more sleep! It's not good to be up at such hours!

Tuesday 16 March 2004 9.29am
Kevin is clearly disturbed by his inherent coolness.

We could always start an anti-cool campaign. I could make badges with slogans such as 'Dag and proud of it', or 'I am an SE no-1'...
Tuesday 16 March 2004 10.16am
'I was here when it was cr*p'........
Tuesday 16 March 2004 11.04am

Remember the rules on "chatter" No "Darling", no "flirting" no "off topic posting" no mention of "gayness".

BTW - Those gloves you left at Simon the Tanner....I got 12.50 for them on ebay.

My terms and conditions clearly say " all goods not collected within 1 week will be sold to cover storage cost"

Tuesday 16 March 2004 8.15pm
rm - lol, that would make a great tshirt...

but saying that, wouldn't it mark the wearer out as cooler-than-thou, you know - 'I was here before some tosser named this place hip, and therefore I helped create the scene'

catch22 or something
Wednesday 17 March 2004 9.10am
How about "It was better when it was crap"

No personal achievements promoted there...
Wednesday 17 March 2004 9.16am
fair enough james and fedora.....

tshirts for next forum social.......
Wednesday 17 March 2004 9.18am
How about: Berm-On-Sea, it's so bracing!
Wednesday 17 March 2004 9.49am
rm - I'd wear one of your t-shirts, I have to say
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