Wednesday 21 July 2004 5.20pm
I nearly always ask for real cider in pubs, especially when they don't sell it.
IMO the trick is to ask the question as if it's unthinkable that they wouldn't have it. Something like: "And what real ciders do you have?"
When they stop laughing/looking at you very quizically, you go into a friendly spiel about how you're sorry about the mistake, but you naturally thought a pub of their calibre (that sells fine wines and beers, etc) would be selling qualitly artisanal English cider and perry.
I also use this in off licenses (the posher the better. When they start to scoff, you can then ask them to give you some objective tips as to why the £10 New World plonk that was made under factory conditions in stainless steel vats before being shipped half way round the world, should be regarded as a more refined product than a handmade English cider made from rare apples and transported a few miles.)
I'm sure I haven't changed anyone's opinions yet, but I really enjoy it as a harmless way to confuse people, and you never know when the tipping point effect will kick in.
That reminds me. Must call back Bristol tourist info and ask them who does their cider tours. It's been a few weeks since I last did that. I think I might pretend to be Dutch this time.
...if you press it, they will come.