Tuesday 7 September 2004 11.49am
Pirate beats Jedi (because he has better clothes, nicer ears, and cutlas beats stupid torch accessory - oops I meant to say "lightsabre")
Jedi beats cyclist on pavement (just because)
Cyclist on pavement beats Pirate (because he careers uncontrollably over Pirate's wooden leg, breaking it and leaving Pirate unable to get back to his scurvy crew)
...if you press it, they will come.