So I thought I'd tell you all my tale, and see if you can cap it.
It's been really fun being part of the Forum as "J & J" or Jackie and the Professor. Now you will have to content yourselves with just me. One J. However, although I know people split up every day, I submit there are ways and ways of doing things. The Prof. went off to teach a semester in India, and having kissed me goodbye, unpacked his suitcases in Hyderobad and sent me an email telling me he wasnt coming back. And telling me NOT to call. He then sent an email to my kids saying "I've left your mother, but I know you'll take care of her" (i.e. please clean her up of the floor), and for good measure sent them a copy of his letter of dismissal to me. They were as you may imagine, utterly disgusted. I, after the initial shock, was pretty much the same. I tell you this tale, first because you've all been such mates and secondly as an example of...er...pretty lousy behaviour. (No other woman involved by the way, just didnt like the way I criticised his table manners).
I can, I think, cap it myself however. A friend of mine was sitting up in bed with her ten minute old baby daughter when her husband came in and said he was leaving her for another woman. That was always my prime "sh--ty man" story. Am I a close second?
Jackie - what a first class piece of excreta..and more to the point what a wimp...to make the decision that you no longer want to a part of some ones life is very sad...and indeed if you were really unhappy and nothing could be resolved between you and all had been discussed - sometimes splitting up, how ever painful is the only option..:-( But to go the other side of the world ( well a bleeding long way!) and only announce via e-mail that your leaving your partner and mother of your children is effing despicable ...( sorry cockney roots coming out!) He is one sad pathetic excuse for a man..
Unfortunately this behaviour is fairly common....but not the route he chose to tell you..
love Jan x
I have to admit that knowing JAckie and having met the PRof on several occasions, I had to read this posting 3 times before I could get my head round it.
I am both surprised and apalled by his behaviour. What a cowardly way to do it.
Jackie, I've sent you an email- I hope you are coping okay- at least you are with your family in Tel Aviv- I'm sure they're giving you lots of support.
And no, I cannot top this story- it really takes the biscuit.
That is SOOOOO cowardly, especially the way it was obviously planned in advance, and the continued avoidance of communication. Cowardly and selfishly uncaring. He knows what you want to say to him and how angry you are so he's pathetically just avoiding it. In my experience you are better off without people that wont take responsibility for the outcomes of their actions. (not that I developed any dislike whatever of the Prof in my meetings with him before he cleared off)
Like Sarahmc says having met the prof on several occassions I too am shocked and saddened at his bevhaviour, He haddn't struck me as a cowardly man of few spoken words but it just goes to show. Thinking of you Jackie
This is very sad. I remember both of you in November with sparklers looking very romantic. Even sadder is the email and 'don't call'.
Time to be tough, strong or whatever. Not easy. One day you will decide that you are better off without him, but probably not now. One of the best things about your fireworks party was meeting your wonderful and interesting friends who you had known for years. I and others here, have appreciated the great contribution you have made over the last couple of years. SE1 and the Forum would be duller places without you.
He is right. Your kids will look after you. I and others will help where we can. (I am always keen on an excuse to get out of the house and see good people.) We can't make things better, but hope we can make things a bit easier. Because you too are active, fun and caring.
If you are in London do PM and let me know what you feel up to. It ages since there was a proper Forum drink. Or perhaps we can get JonR, or even Mapmaker to show off their culinary skills.
I have extended my sympathy and obviously continue to do so Jackie ... but I have this image of a woman scorned ... who lives in a penthouse apartment ... with E&C roundabout down below ... and the thought that this could be a spectacular spring clean!
Er...well next week the Professor will be cleaning out his stuff from the E&C, while I'm still in Israel. So beware of missiles! But dont think so somehow. I wont have the opportunity to do the big chuck, but it's a nice idea I must say!