Few thoughts below from a Grange Ward resident. Must admit I haven’t read the report in any great detail, so feel free to disregard any / all of it.
I’d stress the role of improving transport infrastructure more highly. The only way to achieve greater density of housing in an environmental, economical and socially sustainable way is to deliver adequate public transport. I would therefore row back on the claim that Bermondsey has easy access to the City as not all of it does. Or rather, not all of it does unless you’re young and healthy. The role that buses must perform in an area of poor Underground penetration should be recognised and a clear commitment to extend and improve bus lanes should be advanced. Any Southwark plan should recognise that this is largely in the gift of TfL and whilst what Southwark Council says is interesting it is far from definitive.
I would stress opposition to the London Bridge town centre nonsense in the introduction. The potential change to include Shad Thames and Bermondsey Street within the London Bridge town centre sounds counter to any community-building. London Bridge is not a ‘town centre’ but a station. And divorcing Bermondsey Street from Bermondsey sounds ridiculous.
I would reply to stress the need to keep any open space open. It’s not as if there’s much compared to the rest of London.
For air quality, you could mention that air quality on the Tower Bridge Road is absolutely awful. And it has two speeds: car park and race-track.
Finally, I was interested in your idea to link St Mary’s to Tanner Street Park and Newham’s Row to Tower Bridge Road. Are these possible given current developments? If they are, it might be worth expanding this section.