So no mental health assessment required at the mo!
Resus decisions are discussed with everyone involved now, and made with everyone's agreement. If you had been away, attempts would have been made to contact another family member. Confusion alone is not a good reason to not resuscitate and I am sure this was not the primary reason for the order. NFR does NOT mean 'do nothing', by the way, treatment of conditions continues, but it avoids prolonged CPR which frequently results in significant injury and disability in the already frail. It is good to hear that Don is on a specialised ward for the elderly, they know what they are doing.
By the way, you are neither arrogant or conceited, nor have you failed - you have held the responsibility for as long as you could safely manage to and have succeeded in giving your husband more time in his own home and privacy which he would not otherwise have had.
unfortunately Don was refused a place at st olaves as there was some other poor soul who needed the placement more than him.
I now feel like climbing into bed with a jar of branston pickle like bridget jones...then never getting out of it, so I had better make it a bottle of brandy and a straw!
to cap it all don now has a shadow on the lung, so not quite sure where my minds going now. so back to the drawing board! but thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. :-)
have just received a phone call from st olaves, they now have a bed for him, thats absolutely wonderful, all that needs to be sorted out is the financial aspect. apparently the poor soul who was allocated the bed before Don is not well enough to be moved.
thank you all so much again...:-)
p.s. one day we have to share a bottle of wine when all this is finished!