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Thursday 22 October 2009 7.36pm
Do certain signs leave you scratching your head as to the point of them? I've seen a few lately. The latest being this morning when I drove in to my road and, not for the first time, came up behind the Corporation dust cart. There were ample spaces along the road for the driver to pull in to but no, he sat in the middle of the road while a little armada of cars formed an orderly queue behind him. He adavanced at about 2 m.p.h, stopping every ten yards so that his mates could pick up the refuse bags from the sides of the road and lob them in to the big hole at the rear of the cart. Sorry, I've digressed. Anyway, I don't know why I've never noticed this before, but there was a sign above the big hole saying, 'Danger-Keep out!' If the sign wasn't there, would all the local residents run out of there houses on collection day and throw themselves in to the hole to be minced up with the rubbish? I think not. While driving on the M1 the other week I passed a sign saying, "Don't drink and drive!" Bit late in the day if you're on you're way up north and you've had a couple of pints. What should you then do? Pull over on to the hard shoulder and sleep it off and then continue your journey in the morning? We all know we shouldn't drink and drive, but telling you so when you'rwe fifty miles up a motorway? Another goodie was the sign at my local B&Q. I can't remember what the thing was they were advertizing, but the sign read, '7-99 for two! That's less that 4 each!' Well, yes it is, just about. But is the people of this county's maths so bad that they have to spell that out? The gold medal, however, goes to my local Tesco petrol station. The sign above each pump states, 'All petrol must be paid for.' I can just imagine the distraught looks on the faces of all those poor disappointed motorists who turned up at Tesco thinking their petrol was free.
Thursday 22 October 2009 9.48pm
Very Good Chalkey, reminds me of many, many moons ago when as a callow youth I had a teenage romance with a girl from Plaistow that I had met one Sunday night at the Lyceum in the Strand when it was a dance hall in the '60s.
Waiting for the district line train at Plaistow to get to Whitechapel and thence home to Rotherhithe I would see a huge hoarding on the opposite platform advertising a local laundry, Maycock's.
The blurb read, "Don't kill your wife, let Maycock's do it." It cracked me up, and still does when I think about it!
Friday 23 October 2009 8.30am
Nice one, Tom.
Legend has it that many years ago there was a sign in the middle of a crossing point on the tidal stretch of the River Shannon which read, 'If you cannot read this sign, then the river is too deep to cross.'
Friday 23 October 2009 6.48pm
Here's another little gem, and again,I don't know why I haven't noticed this before. I suspect it's because I'm now actually looking for them! Just to the side of the entrance doors to my local Sainsbury's there is a sign which reads: 'In the interest of health and safety, it is requested that all customers enering this store are fully clothed.'
I kid you not.

(Please, no 'chipolata' jokes.)
Sunday 25 October 2009 11.49am
Well you wouldn't want to be impaled on a bollard!
Monday 26 October 2009 5.03pm
I'm still waiting to see this...
Monday 26 October 2009 7.53pm
That's brilliant Jane!

Here is a repost of one I took a while back near Bermondsey Tube station.

And this one was taken in America.
Tuesday 27 October 2009 9.54am
That particular pelican, was it crossing very gingerly by any chance?

'A wonerous bird is the Pelican,
his bill holds more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak enough food for a week,
but I'm darned if I know how the hell he can!'
Wednesday 28 October 2009 8.12pm
My favourite:

sign above an open fireplace in an old fashioned pub.

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