I have just received from the West Riding of Yorkshire (where they understand things) a copy of this letter to David Cameron:
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan:
(You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan)
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the workforce.
Pay them £1 million each severance pay for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openngs - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new british car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage.
Housing crisis fixed.
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 worth of alcohol/tobacco a week.
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get easier than that!
Also, please think about this:
Do you not find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years earlier, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.