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Tell me a joke...

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Thursday 22 July 2004 10.11am
Three gawpers - I don't know it either.
Thursday 22 July 2004 10.30am
I promise you that it cannot be done here. You really have to "be there".
Thursday 22 July 2004 11.10am
Stevie Wonder is playing a gig in Tokyo. . . . He's just finished playing his Seventies classic Sir Duke.

The crowd is still going wild when a young man at the front says, "You, Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

So Stevie plays an F# minor on his keyboard and goes off on a jazz riff.

The Japanese man says, "No Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord!"

So Stevie tries an A and off he goes with the band on this amazing improvised moment.

When he's finished, the lad says, "No Stevie, a jazz chord, a jazz chord!"

By now old Stevie is a little confused. "What do you mean, play a jazz chord? I've just done 2 for you..?" he says to the fan.

"But it best song of Stevie Wonder! It very famous!" comes the reply.

"Ok, well how does it go then?", enquires the blind musical genius.

The young Japanese man clears his throat and starts to sing:

wait for it.....

wait for it.....

wait for it.....

"A jazz say, I ruv you..."
"A jazz say how much I care.........."
Thursday 22 July 2004 12.23pm
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car?


Neither has he!
Thursday 22 July 2004 1.53pm

Apparently, the solicitor who got OJ off the murder charge [allegedly, your Honour] is now getting cocky and has applied for a driving licence for Stevie Wonder............
Thursday 22 July 2004 2.11pm
Have you hear the one about the American who discovered sarcasm?
Anonymous User
Thursday 22 July 2004 2.31pm
Isn't that a fairytale rather than a joke?
Thursday 22 July 2004 2.42pm
A joke from Norn Iron...

Ian Paisley was on a tour of a multi-denominational school and he asked the classroom, "Give me an example of a tragedy"

A little Protestant girl stood up and said, "If a person fell off a tree whilst playing, that would be tragedy.

"Very good", said Ian, "but that would not be a tragedy, that would be an accident"

A little Methodist boy stood up and said, "If a busload of children crashed off a cliff, that would be a tragedy!

"Another good one", answered Ian, "but that would not be a tragedy, that would be a great loss"

A little Catholic boy stood up and said, "If you, Mr. Paisley were in a helicopter flying over Belfast, Mr. Paisley, and it blew up, then that would be tragedy!

"Excellent", said Ian feeling very flattered and pleased with himself, "but tell me - how did you know that was a tragedy?

"Well", said the young lad thoughtfully... "It wouldn't be a great loss and it certainly wouldn't be a f*cking accident."
Thursday 22 July 2004 2.45pm
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them: "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."

"Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German driver.

"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.

"Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile", the Germans retort
unbelievingly. "Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons."

"You can'ta pulla thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent. "Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law."

The German driver replies angrily, - "You idiot! Call your supervisor over, I vant to speak to somevone viz more intelligence!"

"Sorry", responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come. He'sa busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.
Thursday 22 July 2004 2.49pm
two canibals eating clown soup
one says
"Does this taste funny to you?"

two fish in a tank
one says
"how the heck do you drive this thing?"

Two parrots on a perch
one says
"Can you smell fish?"
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